if life sucks, keep on sucking

listen up you tubs of lard, here we are again with our weekly dose ofeuphemistic tirades. ok, so,, where to start, where to start.....there's this saying, "careful what you wish for..." i haven'tactually gotten' around to taking the thing seriously, until now,i've always wanted to be relocated to timbuktu, it always seemed tome, the grass was greener there, the people, though brown and tiny,were a lot more genial and refined, the cows looked a lot more healthy... i could've raised chickens there and have been content...anyway, now that i'm here in timbuktu, the grass doesn't seem as green when i first glimpsed it (it probably was just color-blindness or some-such..), the people are tiny and brown, but they're a sullenbunch at best, and the cows aren't cows at all, i found out too late,they're a breed of mutant chickens, now i couldn't go around taking care of those, can i?...... i lost a lot of friends when i came hereto timbuktu, my closest friend on the floor (a certain mermaid w/short hair and a mustache), along w/ a few good men (kuya wafer and astroboy) and my ping pong pakner. life couldn't get drearier.... now i'm left w/ a colony of brown people i don't know and a few cow-sizedchickens running around. hmmm... this tirade is turning depressing. i think i have to log off.... they always said taking too much depressants depresses you, now i know that for truth....

Chocolate Okra And Baked Bubblegum Flavored Kamias

wooohhhhooooo. thank God for outlets such as these (ok, friendstermay not be so great a blog but hey, it's still a blog..)... so whatuseless debate/monologue/diatribe/denunciation shall i discuss againfor today? let's start with....(drumroll please)...marina, angsirenang long hair na may funky bangs... is she really a goldfish ora common carp?? ow come on, the dully burnished tail is a dead giveaway, she's really a mutant dalagang-bukid, for crying out loud......(o my gosh? really?)...now if marina is a dalagang-bukid, it wouldautomatically follow that mickey mouse is actually a closet gay andnot a straight, wholesome mouse as he claims on tv, (parang michaeljackson syndrome ito)... now what else???? ito dati na bumabagabag saisipan ko... ano kayang uri ng ibon si big bird?? my gas,,, all thistime my strongest bet is that he's a chicken.. pero i also can't makeup my mind kung may lahi syang pato.... jackie... what the hell,!,,??are you going through one of your periods of schizzophrenia again??what? are you talking to me? yes i am, who else would i be talkingto? well i don't know, i'm the only here..... don't you have betterthings to do than write about usually nonsense, always semi-madbulletin posts??... well, not really,,.. well, get yourself in shapegirl! join the navy or something similarly productive!!!!!!! takeyour medicine regularly,,,you don't want it to get around that you'resome kind of a raving lunatic don't you?too late... it's alreadyout... what the hell. just go bounce on the walls. you're starting toannoy me.

Buttered Alamang and Bagoong Mayonaisse

INTERVIEW W/ WORLD FAMOUS ARTIST AND PART TIME EXOTIC DANCER JACKIE CACCAM (CONDUCTED BY KORINA SANCHEZ, MORNING GIRL, AKA BITCHY REPORTER RUMOURED TO BE GOING OUT W/MR. PALENGKE)
KORINA: so, certified ka na raw?
JACKIE: yes. i was so nervous alam mo? sobrang nagcry ako to death...
KORINA:if you cried to death how come you're still alive?
JACKIE: i refuse to answer that question, parang you're implying na suicidal ako, what will my fans think??KORINA: ok,sorry i brought that up, i almost forgot the episode four years ago when it was rumoured you almost died on the beaches of San Gabriel, San Fernando ,La Union....
JACKIE: that's different!!!!!!!!! I WAS trying tosave somebody you know, i wasn't trying to get myself killed in the process.. even though ican't swim.. don't you think i'm heroic/noble? (cough, cough in a modest way)KORINA: this topic is getting old, can't we talk of something else?
JACKIE: like what? do you want to talk how i went through hell and high water to get certified?
KORINA: uhhmmmm.. anything more interesting thanthat??
JACKIE: well i do want to talk about a certain someone but that would be beside the point of this interview..
KORINA: but what is the point of this interview?
JACKIE: aren't we talking about me and my fame and glory?
KORINA: no we were trying to get to the point where you single-handedly vanquished the green-eyed monster...
JACKIE:hmm, somehow that skipped my mind
KORINA:i don't think we're getting anywhere
JACKIE: i know. but aren't you glad you had this chance to talk to me?
KORINA: no
JACKIE:WHY YOU?!!!?? *&$^&#%
KORINA:you don't intimidate me, i'm dating mr.palengke. he's number two in the senatorial race you know (partial results only)..
JACKIE:the f*#^ do i care??
RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOLRAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL RAMBOL
ps. sorry guys. didn't have anything plausible to write about. hik. this is getting old. hik. hik.