Sunday, May 08, 2011

the eater

there's a monster inside me. it's growing and taking over. it hates laughter as it considers it noise. it mutters and complains all the time about everything. it's grumpy and does not relish change. it spends its time looking for flaws, even if there are none. it hates being contradicted and thinks of itself as the ultimate authority on just about anything.
i am dying, my sense of self being consumed by this vicious thing that is old age - and it doesn't look like i'm gonna get better. i don't want this to happen, my being so angry and isolated all the time. i don't want to be every party's spoilsport and resident downer.i want my youth back. i want what it feels like to be full of wonder and laughter and fun to come back. i want to remember how it is to be laidback and just simply be happy.
please, someone help me.

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