Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Walking Dead

You’ve been in my head for a while now. This makes me think of so many crazy possibilities I can’t just shove off – so it worries me.

it's a constant struggle, this trying to rid my mind of you. because those sneaky possibilities make me think of all kinds of what can be's - and that makes it so tempting not to pursue them. thankfully, my innate survival instinct has taken over just in time because it's obvious i'm headed towards something disastrous. Hence, i have halted my steps toward these new possibilities, because it has dawned on me that wanting you doesn't necessarily mean I'll risk being with you.

What I want most in the world right now - to be with you, might just overwhelm us with so many repercussions and I fear you will have to bear the brunt of it. It's a thought i cannot tolerate. So you see, i'm only doing what i think is best for you - for me to stay far away.

Though I know this is like a dream, and a good one at that, still, it's something that won't ever amount to anything concrete.

I'm going to turn away with nary a word 'cause I think being vague is best - the truth is just going to lead us to more twists and complications that might inflict more damage to this already screwed-up situation.

I wish you won't think less of me for turning away.

I know it's even gonna seem like i never did love you.

But if you knew me at all, you'd know that on the contrary, I do.

I love you so much that I'm giving up, giving you up.

Maybe someday I can tell you why, but definitely, not now.

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