Sunday, June 27, 2004

Pagpapatiwakal Ng Katinuan

as i'm currently supposed to be working right now, let me do something much more "wholesome" in lieu
of dozing off into oblivion.... About two nights ago, i was wondering, ang hirap rin pala mag-ipon ng testimonial. Anyway, I decided
to make myself some mock-testimonials just for the heck of it. Tapos syempre di ko rin maiwasang
mag-comment sa mga ito ano? MWAHAHAHHAHA.. here it goes.

San Lorenzo Ruiz - " j.caccam? i always found her sadly lacking in the "spiritual pursuit"... always up and
about yammering, spreading social discord. if i were her dad, i wouldn't hesitate in "showing her the
light" for one second... let me just get my hands on some pliers (for extracting toenails) and a tank full of water (righteous submersion)... sometimes martyrdom is the key for seeing the light.."

J.CACCAM- hey, not all of us are massochists you sick weirdo...

Gloria Macapagal Arroyo - " This girl is a paragon for all Filipino youngsters... Hard working, Righteous,
Charitable.. Honestly, this last presidential election, i woudn't have gotten through in one piece if it
weren't for this young lady. She helped me keep my head during the harrowing process... All i have for
her is heartfelt gratitude... The country owes you a great deal Jackie, your parents would be so proud of

J.CACCAM- (modestly wipes her eyes w/ a sleeve..) i did what any self-respecting filipino would

Spanish Interpreter (work related po) - "para espanyol, marque el dos....Gracias Porliamar First Choice...
Jackie? Jackie? yo no hablo espanyol muy bien....."

J.CACCAM - notenggo dinero.... para bailar la bamba...hindi tayo papaalipin,,,, sugod!!! sugod mga

Kris Aquino - "Sihh Jahhckiehh Caccahhmm??? Why thahht girhhll is not reahhlly a gurl ano?!!!? I've
beehhnn hearihng kasihh amohhng my katsismizans nahh she's been going around the place
claiminghh she's sohhme kind of ahh mermaihhdd.. like hellowww????!!!... akohhh lang ang tuhhnay
na murrrmaid anohhh?? akohh lang!!! huhuhhuhuuhhuhu... I love mark but we're not meant to be
talaga (self-suffering expression on face)."

J.CACCAM - I thought this testimonial is supposed to be for me!!!!! for me!!! wahahahahah

The Terminator - "J.caccam . die bitch."

J.CACCAM - the world would be better off burned into smoldering ashes if all people wrote testimonials
like this...

Sandara - "J. caccam? I like her. My Idol. Korean Kim-chi is the best. i want to thank her cos i wouldn't
have won 1st runner up if she didn't drop out of SCQ early in the game... thank you, thank you,, to all
my fans, thank you for supporting me, always know... MAAA--HAAAALL KOO KAHH--YOONG
LAHH-AATT" (plak plakplakplak.. series of scatterred applause at what seems to be a humongous effort
on Sandara's part)....."

J.CACCAM - personally, i liked errol better....

J.Caccam on herself - "J.Caccam, batang tiki-tiki. Nasanay sa hirap at sakripisyo. mahilig sa gatas at
kape, dahilan ng kanyang pagkakaroon ng matitibay na mga buto ngunit nerbyosang disposisyon..
Tinaguiriang "Terror ng mga LAMOK", ang future substitute for the katol. Self- proclaimed Androgenous
Mermaid. May She Rest In Peace...."

J.CACCAM - hah??

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