Sunday, September 05, 2004

Chuvaness Files I. The STALKER (JECKYLL AND HYDE CONUNDRUM)

I. The STALKER
I APPROACH FROM THE BACK, LIKE A HUNTER STALKING A PREY.. I HAVE ONLY MOMENTS TO ADMIRE THE WAY THE LIGHT FALLS ON YOUR HAIR BEFORE YOU NOTICE THAT A SHADOW IS BLOCKING YOUR READING LIGHT. YOU TURN AROUND AND AND SAY "OH, ITS YOU CACCAM".. "YEAH, SO HOW'S IT GOING?" (ANG CUTE MO NGAYON, NAKAKATIGIL HININGA ANG IYONG ITSURA) .. "OH NOTHING MUCH"... (IF SMALL TALK WOULD BE DESCRIBED, I WOULD SAY IT'S VERY APTLY CALLED, "SMALL"). NOW, YOU LOOK AT ME, WAITING, IF I HAVE ANY MORE TO SAY THAN MY MUNDANE GREETING..I TRY TO RISE TO THE CHALLENGE.."UH,,UH..HAVE YOU SEEN CATFISH?" (IF I COULD ONLY TELL YOU HOW YOU ALMOST LEAVE ME IN A COMA EVERY TIME YOU SMILE). "CATFISH? I THINK I SAW HIM HEAD OUTSIDE FOR A SMOKE". ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, I REALIZE MY BLUNDER FOR WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO I HAVE THAN TO HEAD OUTSIDE AND PRETEND TO LOOK FOR MY CATFISH WHEN I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE'S PRESENTLY SNORING AWAY IN A COUCH BY THE WRECK ROOM-- THIS WOULD AMATURELY END MY PRECIOUS TIME WITH YOU..I GRASP FOR A NEW SUBJECT TO PROLONG THE RELATIVE "CONVERSATION" WE WERE HAVING..."OK, I'LL TRY TO GO THERE LATER, ANO ORAS BREAK MO?" (PERHAPS WE COULD BOTH HEAD OVER TO THE PANTRY AND GRAB A BITE TO EAT, LIBRE PA KITA).."KATATAPOS LANG E". "OH" (SHET, STUMPED). AFTER THAT EPISODE, WHAT ELSE COULD I DO BUT PRETEND LIKE I HAVEN'T JUST BEEN STABBED BY A DAGGER AND NOT STAGGER AWAY IN PAIN. WHILE STANDING BESIDE YOU, I GET A BRILLIANT IDEA TO COVER MY RETREAT (MY BRILLIANT IDEAS USUALLY TURN OUT TO BE TOTALLY STUPID AFTER A PERIOD OF TIME ELAPSES), TO SAVE MYSELF FROM SAYING A PROPER FAREWELL AND LOSING FACE I PRETEND TO HAVE FOUND SOMEONE MORE ENGAGING TO TALK WITH AND LEAVE YOU TRYING TO DISCERN WHETHER YOU WERE STILL IN THE DIALOGUE OR WAS JUST GIVEN A RUDE HINT OF NOT BEING INTERESTING ENOUGH (WHICH IS OF COURSE MY INTENTION, AFTER YOUR INDIFFERENT LETDOWN). WELL, THE TRUTH IS, THERE ARE MOUNTAINS SO FEARFUL AND DANGEROUS THAT I WOULD STILL TRAVERSE JUST FOR HAVING THAT SIMPLE EXCHANGE WITH YOU. SO, HERE ENDS THE FIRST ORDEAL. I STILL HAVE TWO HOURS TO PLOT MORE OUTRAGEOUS WAYS TO GAIN YOUR ATTENTION.

1 comment:

Ashley Riot said...

oh caccam its you...must've been a blast for you, ATE!! (ala nora). you've finally made your insanity public. for shame...